hAvE Y0U EvEr...

Hmm... just completed a class and was observed. It went pretty ok except for some small glitches. But the evaluation was better that the one before.
Well, am trying to get use to these sessions and not let them stress me out because there will be more to come.
But over the weekend and even today, I feel rather low and "tak bersemangat." Have you ever felt that way? Tired of being goody and always doing the right thing? (Do I even do the right thing, by the way???)
Have you ever felt like not socializing and wanting to quit smiling? Why is it that I must always do (or attempt to do) the right thing, only to find myself failing?Why try to say nice things when I really do not feel like doing so? Why must I look out for others and be responsible (Am I even?), only to find myself drained out? Am I judging others and placing myself higher than I ought to be placed? Why am I discouraged? Why do I need to put on a strong front when I am not?At times, I wish no one knew me. Wish there is a place to be where I can be free to be myself, not caring about what people think, say, act etc...But, I am free and do not live for myself anymore. I have been redeemed and saved. No longer am I under the law or compulsion to do good but I am FREE to do the right thing...Need there be any more reasons to do what's correct and right? Please help me, Lord....